Alfred's Hangover
by Vani Jane
Summary: Alfred wakes up to find himself in someone's house, a Finnish flag thong on a Christmas tree and a tied-up naked hamster Arthur in the bathroom.


**Author's Note: **The eighth out of ten fics I've mass-uploaded. is inspired from another TFLN message I found and a bit of Sensitive Pornograph (watch or read it, it's kinda good). **Please don't forget to review! No flames but critique's are welcomed!**

**Pairing(s): **AmericaxEngland / AlfredxArthur

**Genre(s): **Romance, General

**Warning(s): **Yaoi, Lemon Cut, Human Names

**Disclaimer: **This is a work of fiction by a fan for fans. This has no relation to the real countries and its people. Hetalia Axis Powers rightfully belongs to Hidekaz Himaruya. I do not own Sensitive Pornograph, whoever made that owns it.

"**Alfred's Hangover"**

Alfred F. Jones woke up with a groan and man, did he feel great! He was nineteen years and a day old – yesterday had been his birthday and just like any of his birthdays, he went all out. He had invited everyone he knew and they drank practically anything that had alcohol and partied until they could party no more. It was quite a wild night and Alfred couldn't remember ninety percent of it.

But now, it was July five and it was no longer his birthday. Not that really mattered since he was so awesome and his life was just as awesome making everyday really awesome like his birthday.

The blue-eyed American stood up from where he sat and the first thing he saw was a large Christmas tree that looked to be brutally mashed from the night before and... was that... oh, hell yes, it was a thong that had the Finnish flag on it. Alfred wanted to laugh at that but then he smelt something crappy, literally.

He turned his head towards the source of the smell and saw crap that was comfortably sitting on what resembled to be Kiku's bed. The American just hoped that it wasn't his Japanese friend's bed because that was just disgusting – and whoever crapped there was sure to have been wasted as shit – no pun intended – last night.

"Awesome night." Alfred said to himself with a chuckle. It was just bad that he couldn't remember anything after the tequila shots he had with... oh hell, he couldn't even remember who he was tequila shooting with!

"Where the hell am I?" Alfred finally asked himself then went to the nearest glass door and was mildly surprised to find himself about fifty stories above ground. "Oh my God. How the hell did we – _I _get here?"

He opened the door to let the scent of crap out but he got impatient and sick of the stench that he took the futon by the clean side, dragging it towards the small balcony and tossed it over. God pity whoever that futon landed on.

"Now, that's taken care of, I need to piss." Alfred said with a triumphant grin and went to search for the bathroom.

His hero senses told him it was the door with the fluffy faerie fish mat and he was right, when he opened the door he found the bathroom and... something else or rather, _someone_ else.

There was a naked man laying on the floor, his arms and legs bound while a gag was placed on his mouth. Oh, God. There was even a sign placed on the man's neck that said, _FUCK ME, BITCH!_ - the word, 'feed', was crossed out and replaced with 'fuck' instead. The naked man even had what looked to be like bear ears or something placed on his head.

Alfred wanted to swallow that hard lump on his throat, but it wouldn't go down.

The naked man was none other than Arthur Kirkland, the school's student council president andthe biggest prude of the city as well as the hottest guy in school – at least, that's how Alfred saw it. Well, he thought Arthur was the hottest thing since chili dogs and Superman.

_?_

A million reasons and possibilities ran through Alfred's head at how Arthur had ended in such a state and most of them weren't pretty. He was certain the blonde man didn't do it out of his own free will since well, he was really that big of a prude.

There was only one logical and most believable reason Alfred could think of – Francis, the pervert, along with his band of perverts (Antonio and Gilbert) took advantage of Arthur and raped poor innocent Arthur.

Then again, there were no traces of stains in the room or any struggle. So, they could've drugged Arthur and tied the poor guy up but just left him there and didn't touch him. Alfred sure hoped they didn't, he felt a killing urge at the thought of anyone touching the prude of a council president.

They weren't item but Alfred had always felt strongly for the Brit even though they always arguing and disagreeing with each other for most of the time. He had more or less scared the competition away. He'd even scared his brother and his best friend, Kiku, away from getting any closer than necessary to Arthur. He also made that chick, Angélique, fall for him so that she wouldn't get any further ideas for Arthur. The Bad Touch Trio were just about the only people he couldn't pry off Arthur without killing and he was close to doing so many times in the past.

A light moan came from the naked man on the tiled floor and Alfred swore his cow lick flinched.

Holy BigMac! That was a hamster's tail stuck in Arthur's – _gulp_ – Arthur's sweet, grope-worthy ass.

The Briton slowly tried moving, his magnificent brows furrowed when he felt constrained. He tried moving again and what he successfully was able to move was that ass with the fake hamster's tail. It was too tantalizing to watch and Alfred couldn't keep his eyes away. This wasn't something you saw everyday for the love of burgers!

_What I would do to smack that-_

One green eye opened and stared widely at Alfred. Alfred, in turn, shocked that he'd been caught staring, yelped (in a manly way) and shut the door.

"OH. MY. GOD." Alfred gasped, curling to a ball on the floor. "That was hot."

In his mind, he could see Arthur laying in bed with that hamster get up. The guy would seem out of place on his Superman bedsheets but as if he'd even notice the bedsheets if Arthur was lying naked on it.

He heard a muffled moan from inside and spat out, "I-I didn't see nothing! I swear to God I didn't see the hamster tail stuck in your ass! Oh, crap!"

Alfred slapped himself, he just ratted himself out. Was he still drunk or something? God.

The muffled moans continued and Alfred wished it would stop since it wasn't doing his body and mind any good at that moment. However, the moaning wouldn't stop and Alfred was forced to sing 'Rock-A-Bye-Baby' to block out the moaning.

It was only five minutes later that Alfred got a clue – _Could it be that he's asking for help?_

The next thing the American did was to curse under his breath as he scrambled to his legs and finally, he opened the door. He was about to spat out some heroic line but that all went down the drain when he saw Arthur lying on his side from the struggling to be free. There were tears drops at the corner of his eyes, a heavy blush on his cheeks and Alfred forced himself to not look past the pale torso.

Damn, he could feel Florida getting over his hangover and standing.

"Mmmf!" Arthur made a sound, although he didn't squirm since he'd gotten tired of trying to squirm his way free.

"U-Um... Uh... Are you... Er..." Alfred cleared his throat, he needed a drink. "I-I'll un-untie y-you."

Slowly, carefully, Alfred made his way towards the naked man. God, couldn't he be any lamer? The awesome hero never stuttered that is, until today. The nineteen year old just wished he wouldn't slip on the floor or have his hands shaking as he untied Arthur.

Three minutes that seemed like an eternity to Alfred, he thanked the heavens. He did not muck anything up.

When he was finally free, Arthur sat up and removed the gag from his mouth. He was well aware that his face was quite red at the moment but, he said to himself, it was now or never. There was still some alcohol lingering in his system, so he wasn't thinking rationally which was absolutely perfect.

Arthur turned his green eyes at the larger boy beside him and Alfred swore, Arthur looked like a lost puppy drenched in a thunderstorm.

What Arthur did next didn't fit Alfred's image of a drenched lost puppy though, it fit among the lines of a hungry, predatory wolf and at their current position, Alfred was the prey.

Alfred gulped, staring up at Arthur. The Briton had suddenly pounced on him and pushed him down on the tiled floor, good thing he didn't hit his head there. Now, both men were staring at each other, afraid to breath and having the hardest of lumps in their throats.

"A-Arthur...?" Alfred squeaked after what seemed to be hours of awkward silence. He didn't like how his voice sounded though, for God's sake, heroes did not squeak like mice.

"Saw the sign?" Arthur said, his voice a bit lower and dry than the usual.

Alfred gulped, that lump was never going to go down. He slowly nodded as he whispered, "Y-Yeah..."

"Good." Arthur said and took the plunge.

_**- LEMON CUT -**_

He didn't expect Arthur to suddenly cuddle him but that's what happened. Arthur, covered in sweat and nothing else, settled himself beside the American and placed an arm over his chest. Why on earth did that seem so right – even if they were in _someone _else's bathroom floor.

Alfred decided not to think any further (which was usually the case) and just went with the flow. He laid there and had Arthur use his arm as a pillow when Arthur fell asleep.

It turned out that they were in Arthur's place or to be precise, Arthur's oldest brother of whom Alfred was best buddies with. But the guy was out of town on a vacation which was why Arthur was house sitting.

They were having an extremely late breakfast when Arthur explained to Alfred that Francis, Gilbert and Tonio along with several other drunk people arrived (uninvited). He was then stripped, tied up and left in the bathroom when the perverted trio found another target.

Alfred believed the story, it wasn't far off from the other things they had done in the past. Then, it made him wonder.

"Are you sure you're all right, though?" Alfred asked worriedly. "I tried not to hurt you, but you were plugged for I don't know how many hours."

Arthur blushed both from Alfred's concern and embarrassment. Then he decided it was time to spill the beans, "That... was mine... actually. I've been... preparing myself..."

Alfred would've choked if he had been drinking something, instead he stared at the blushing student council president with huge eyes, "E-Excuse me, what? Preparing for-for what?"

Arthur turned redder, if such a thing were possible, as he mumbled, "You."

Alfred turned red, hearing the answer. He was embarrassed and full of relief and joy knowing that Arthur had been thinking of him, too but he was always some what annoyed at the revelation.

"Couldn't you have told me any sooner?" Alfred gasped, "We could've saved a lot of time, you know!"

Arthur frowned at the American, "Don't go blaming me! How was I supposed to know? You were flirting around with Angé and practically everyone else!"

"I didn't like them!" Alfred said and got a questioning brow raised at him. Oh, crap. He forgot Arthur had a soft spot for the girl. "Not in that way! I was only trying to steer them away from you!"

Arthur was sure he beat the world record for the deepest blush. "G-Git! You could've just said so!"

"How was I supposed to know?"

"Wanker!"

"Douche!"

**The End**

**Author's Note: **What the... I don't even... Okay, so... I don't know how this fic started as a cool thought and ended with douches and wankers. XD Though, I'm not sure if this should be under the 'Romance' genre since there really isn't much romance there... But oh, well. XD

**Link to Lemon (without spaces): fujoku . livejournal . com / 5512 . html**

_(843): View more from South Carolina_

_I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again._

**Please don't forget to leave a review or a critique. I need tips and advices on how to write better lemons, I swear. O_O**

**Edit:** OMG. I realize that I've uploaded the one with the lemon last night. O_O So, I've taken the lemon part down. I'm really sorry. OTL

(I've to take it out for a number of reasons, one is the fear of getting my account delete and the other, my cousin WILL stumble into this. And she'll not know it's lemon and I'll scar her - which I won't want. Her mom will kill me. OTL)


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